I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
