just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Randomize
