forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
You left your underwear on the fireplace
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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