hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
At the wedding. Seated next to the bar. No way this ends well
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
Randomize
