Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
A fire alarm is going off in some building, people are running around naked and people are passed out in the MIDDLE of the sidewalk. If they ban parties again, I'm going to be pissed.
Randomize
