He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
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