: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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