'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
