Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Randomize
