OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
Randomize
