I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I think he thought I was too drunk to handle his parrot
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
try to milk me bitch
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