I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
