Fine. I'll sleep in my office
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Randomize
