This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
You need to somehow incorporate the phrase "these hoes ain't loyal" into your best man speech.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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