you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
