Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Randomize
