I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize
