That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Your penis caused this!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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