I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize
