What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
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