Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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