my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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