all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
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