i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
Randomize
