Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
