your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
I convinced a girl making out is a secret handshake
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
