you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
Randomize
