forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
My boss asked me to pass over one of my business cards and instead I had condoms fall out of my wallet, how’s your day going??
Randomize
