sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
no, he came in my armpit
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
