i don't like sucking hair
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Yeah bro I don't know how she's gonna explain the black eye, how else do you tell your boss "my knee hit me in the face during sex last night"
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
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