Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
