nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
