I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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