he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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