Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
