how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
You said eat breakfast. So i poured Baileys on top of m&m's. It taste just like like cereal I swear.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
