Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
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