They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
His mom just asked me if I was "fooling around with her baby again" and then when I walked downstairs his dad YELLED "Look who's taking the walk of shame!"
You really need to stop fucking dudes who still live with their parents.
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
