He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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