question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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