I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
