i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
Randomize
