I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
Yours weakened by children. Mine weakened by a forearm sized cock for 8 years.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
i wish i could tell my students that all of their lessons plans were brought to them by captain morgan and diet coke. it's like seasame street, only for high schoolers being taught by a student teacher.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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