There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
It's so hard to find a shirt to wear out that is easily taken off, cut off my paramedics, but says "I'm a grown, respected woman"
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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