Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Randomize
