I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What was I even doing in 2010?! I feel like that's a question I should be able to type into the Facebook Search bar
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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