There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Randomize
