and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
It was just...long. I started around 2. And I think i went to bed around 2. So 12 straight hours? I remember a milkshake and frozen grapes.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
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