im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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