i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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